Thursday, July 10, 2014

A purse...

A few nights ago I had a dream. Some dreams I can remember and sometimes I do not remember anything at all. With this dream, I did not remember it right away. It was not until later in the day when I did and it was only one specific thing that was brought back to my memory and it was very clear. It was a vision of me picking up my purse, the one I carry with me everywhere, and as I picked it up the bottom of it tore and the content fell out through the bottom of it. That was it... In reality, my purse does actually have a slight tear at the seam on one side.

I believe that God speaks to us through our dreams and communicates by giving us visions in our dreams. I do not believe all dreams have a meaning or are a vision from God. Some dreams are our brain's way of processing information and we see some images play out as our brain sorts them out. However, God does use dreams to speak to us, especially is we acknowledge this and give the eyes of our heart over to God to fill. Dr. Virkler in his book "Hearing the Voice of God" says, "The first step is to believe in the value of living in the world of dreams and visions. We must see it as the language of the heart, a primary means that God wants to use to communicate with us." (p. 175) We see that happening in many occasions in the Bible.

In my heart I knew that the dream meant something, so I asked God to show me what He was trying to say to me. When I have dreams I ask God for the meaning and He gives me the insight on what the dream meant. I almost forgot about that small and seemingly 'insignificant' vision. What could that possibly mean - my purse bursting and everything falling out? I did not know, not until today...

This evening I receive an email from one of my brothers in Christ who is a missionary and who on occasion shares God's stories with me of how the Lord used him or someone he knows to share Christ and how yet another soul was brought into the Kingdom. 

In his email he shared that this evening he was at a Birthday Party that his friend had for his son. He overheard the kids tell a story and was touched by it, so much so that as soon as he got home he typed it out and shared it with me. The story was entitled "The Parable of a Sowing Machine" and it is about a man who had a bag that had a tear which kept getting bigger and he kept loosing things out of the bag (you can find the full story below). It was when I read this story that the vision of my purse was brought back to mind. My friend closed the email with his thought of how the story spoke to him and in that moment I knew that the Lord was giving me the interpretation of the vision I saw in my dream. Here is what he said:

*(Thoughts:) The tear in the bag represents the wear and tear on your heart and mind and spirit as you travel through life—the questions, the doubts, and the worries. If you let the tear grow larger without mending it with the sewing machine of God’s Word, which repairs your faith, answers your questions, and calms your worries, you will find yourself unable to face the challenges of each day, and losing valuable time.

I was blown away by the similarities of the stories and I realised what God was trying to tell me. My purse is my spiritual and emotional life. The contents of the purse is everything that I carry inside on my heart and my spirit. The tear represents the condition of my emotional and spiritual life and if left unattended, it would burst, meaning I will 'burst' and be overwhelmed emotionally and spiritually. This is something I already began to experience recently. The beautiful part about all this is - God did not just give me an interpretation of my dream, but He used this story and my friend to give me the solution! 

All the questions and answers I am seeking and the comfort that I am looking for to have me and my faith restored are in the 'sowing machine'. This spoke into the exact areas where I needed clarity at this time and God gave me the vision already orchestrating for the story to be told just at the right time! The awesome thing about God is that He already has been leading me to spending more time in the Word and in His presence...this is a confirmation of that and the fact that He is very much near, present and involved in every area of my life, every step of the way!

...and for that I am beyond thankful!

Thank You, Lord, for Your constant outpouring of mercy and grace, for Your unfailing love and for always showing up in these undoubtedly orchestrated moments! 
Thank You, Father, for the oneness of the Body of Christ and how each one of us plays such an intricate role in Your plan in Your Kingdom, that no matter were we are You can use us to speak into each other's live in this way! Only You can do this in a way that we would not even be able to plan or predict, because Your ways are not our ways and Your thoughts are not our thoughts...You know it all and without You we would wander without guidance. I thank You, Holy Spirit, for Your guidance and revelation. 
God - You are awesome!

The Parable Of  A Sowing Machine

A man once owned a travel bag that he took with him everywhere he went. One day he noticed a small tear on the seam of his bag. He taped it over, but before long the tape fell off and the tear grew larger.
It seemed that nothing would stop the tear from growing, or the material from fraying. One day the traveler showed up at his destination, about to have a meeting with someone important, but his tie had fallen out of his bag. He was forced to search and buy another one, but when a store couldn't be found he had to retrace his steps. Finally he found his tie lying on the road. It was now dirty and dusty and needed to be washed.
The man continued to lose valuable things on his travels, until one day someone suggested that he use the sewing machine at home to repair the tear….

What a thought!!!!

He jumped up to do just that, but then laziness kept him from fixing this bag that was so important to his life.

The next trip he took the bag, but it continued to rip, and the tear grew larger and larger until out fell his shoes. Showing up for his appointment in his ragged travel shoes had made the client reject his offer and he returned home in disgrace. On his next trip, out fell his watch and his wallet. He was late for his appointment and lost a good sum of money.

At home once more, dejected and confused, he looked at his bag and wondered what to do. Then the thought came to him again, “Use the sewing machine!”

"Oh yes!" he shouted, and headed to the table. “But, oh, I'm tired and it can wait until_______,” and put it off again.
The next time a trip was due, he grabbed his bag once more. This time, however, it ripped before he was out the door, and dumped out all his goods—on the floor. He sat down in despair and began to moan. "What use is this bag? My service is ruined! How am I to continue? My life is over." 
Just then a whisper once more entered his heart:

Use the sewing machine!
Get this thought through your head!
You can't continue with a tear in your life,
And patching it on your own just brings you more strife.
So use the sewing machine and sew up that tear,
While it is small and easy to repair.
One day it will grow and your service will blow
so fix it while you can, and be a smart man.
He jumped up and put his laziness aside,
And watched with joy as the machine started to glide.
With each stitch that was planted,
The tear recanted.
Soon his bag was repaired and He filled it up and ran down the stairs.
"Never again will I let such a thing ruin my life when I have the sewing machine."
And off to a successful visit he ran,

For he had his tie, shoes, watch, and wallet in hand.

Monday, July 7, 2014


Last night I got to talk with my grandmother - I miss her so much! She has always been the closest family member and for the past 7 years she has been away. I am so thankful for everything that she poured into me: her love, her kindness, her old-fashioned values and her unconditional acceptance. I always say that she is the reason for any traces of sanity that is in me, nurtured by God. The Lord was really gracious to me to give me my grandmother and allow me to be under her care for all those years. It was then that I experiences the most stability and peace in my life. It was with her that I got to experience what it is like to have someone who always got your back, who loves and protects even if it meant laying down her life for me. She was my shield and my rock.

When I began to ask God what His love feels like, He led me to think of her love for me, her unconditional, consistent and unfailing love. Then He said "I love you much more than that and I will always be there, I will never leave and my love and closeness will never fade away."

It was because of her love that I know what that kind of love feels like. It is pure and based on giving. She never wanted anything or asked for anything. All she did was give and pour out her love to me. No matter how much I failed or disappointed her, she would discipline me but at the end of the day she would always come to me with love. 

I remember one time I did not come home from school because I decided to go to one of my friend's house. It was almost dark when I did finally come home and My grandmother was so hurt, looking for me and wondering if she should call the police. She searched for me and did not find me. I had my  old-school punishment but after she saw me cry she also started to cry and came to me and hugged me. It was clear that she did not want to see me hurt and it hurt her that I was hurting, although the punishment was justified. 

When I was talking to my grandmother last night, she said that in her eyes I will always be that little girl and she went on to mimic some things that I used to say when I was little. Words cannot express how thankful I am to have been blessed with having her in my life growing up. I used to focus on my mom not being around and my father being completely absent. My life would have been so different having them, I would have been different if my influence was different. However, now I look back and realise that, had it been different I would not have had a chance to experience life being shaped by my wonderful grandmother. Her simplistic, pure, honest nature, her loving and forgiving essence, her old-fashioned and always-being-proper ways have left a mark on me...

...and for that I am beyond THANKFUL!!!

I love you grandma! I miss you! 
Thank you for being you and for being in my life!