Intimacy

As Christmas approaches, many persons are beginning to plan for the holidays spent with family and friends. Although Christmas holidays are filled with lots of joy, love and presents, there are so many persons that find this time of year one of the loneliest times. This is when even the cold wether reminds us of our need for warmness, whether literally or figuratively. This is also the time of the year when the busyness of life counteracts with the craziness of deadlines at work and the financial pressures  as we try to budget for the additional expenses for all the gifts (not to mention the special added stress of the upcoming VAT). It is a beautiful thing when all of this Christmas rush is worth it and is done with unconditional love and the holidays are spent among loved ones as we succeed at putting smiles on their faces. However, for those who have experienced any kind of loss - this time only serves as a reminder of those who are not longer in our lives...

Today I was thinking about all the interesting conversations I've been having lately on the topic and it made me realize how much everyone desires to feel that intimate connection with someone, how much we as human beings are defined by our desire to be desired, wanted, needed, loved...and accepted. Intimacy [In-to-me-you-see] - that connection between two people (could be romantic or not) where both people see into one another. It is that kind of understanding between to people who, although different, have the same understanding of life and the world around them, that compatibility on many levels. That kind of understanding can exist between any two people: friends, family and of course in marriage. You will know when you have that kind of connection, it is almost as if you can finish each other's sentences and you just know that the persons gets you, they understand.

I was talking to a long time friend today that I had the privilege of reconnecting with (it was such a God moment!!!) and she said something that was such a powerful reminder, one of many other amazing things we talked about, that there is a reason why we attract certain people into our lives at a particular stage of our lives. Mostly, we attract people who are a reflection of where we are in life at that time. The way it works, we will attract and be attracted to people who are on the same lever of function (or dysfunction) that we are in during that season of life. The timing also plays a role for the way we experience connection with people, typically serving to either show us where we are or serves a purpose of exposing something we need to learn in order to get where we need to be.

There are many moving pieces and factors that play into making that kind of intimacy happen. Intimacy is so strong and yet so fragile. It can withstand every type of weather and yet it can broken by one careless or unwholesome act. With two people who are healthy and mature that kind of connection can fuel a lifelong friendship and intimacy that is solid and beautiful. That is what long-lasting friendships and relationships are built on.

In my opinion, true intimacy can only be possible when both persons know who they are and their identity is grounded in Christ, when they are both in a place where they have worked through emotional and other issues from the past and are on the same page when it comes to the way they look at things. Even in our relationship with God there are so many levels of intimacy, so there is no surprise that even among those who are professing to follow Christ there are so many differences in the way we understand spiritual truths. That is why it is amazing when you share similar passion and connection with God and this can only be felt by the spirit.

We are all very different, and yet there are moments when friendships and relationships come full circle, when as a result of time and growth lives intersect again and it is a rare and beautiful thing. Reconnecting with a good friend was a very special surprise...

...and for that I am thankful