Grandmother

Last night I got to talk with my grandmother - I miss her so much! She has always been the closest family member and for the past 7 years she has been away. I am so thankful for everything that she poured into me: her love, her kindness, her old-fashioned values and her unconditional acceptance. I always say that she is the reason for any traces of sanity that is in me, nurtured by God. The Lord was really gracious to me to give me my grandmother and allow me to be under her care for all those years. It was then that I experiences the most stability and peace in my life. It was with her that I got to experience what it is like to have someone who always got your back, who loves and protects even if it meant laying down her life for me. She was my shield and my rock.

When I began to ask God what His love feels like, He led me to think of her love for me, her unconditional, consistent and unfailing love. Then He said "I love you much more than that and I will always be there, I will never leave and my love and closeness will never fade away."

It was because of her love that I know what that kind of love feels like. It is pure and based on giving. She never wanted anything or asked for anything. All she did was give and pour out her love to me. No matter how much I failed or disappointed her, she would discipline me but at the end of the day she would always come to me with love. 

I remember one time I did not come home from school because I decided to go to one of my friend's house. It was almost dark when I did finally come home and My grandmother was so hurt, looking for me and wondering if she should call the police. She searched for me and did not find me. I had my  old-school punishment but after she saw me cry she also started to cry and came to me and hugged me. It was clear that she did not want to see me hurt and it hurt her that I was hurting, although the punishment was justified. 

When I was talking to my grandmother last night, she said that in her eyes I will always be that little girl and she went on to mimic some things that I used to say when I was little. Words cannot express how thankful I am to have been blessed with having her in my life growing up. I used to focus on my mom not being around and my father being completely absent. My life would have been so different having them, I would have been different if my influence was different. However, now I look back and realise that, had it been different I would not have had a chance to experience life being shaped by my wonderful grandmother. Her simplistic, pure, honest nature, her loving and forgiving essence, her old-fashioned and always-being-proper ways have left a mark on me...

...and for that I am beyond THANKFUL!!!

I love you grandma! I miss you! 

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!

Thank you for being you and for being in my life!