There are many times that people are having a bad day and are trying to pass it on to you, do not take it on. Kindly leave it right there. I am so thankful that I learned to recognise when the stress and the problems do not belong to me, so, I quickly return them to the sender. So often people forget that the world does not revolve around them and that they are not the only ones that have things going on in life. Every once in awhile I would come across individuals who really believe that they are entitled to treat others as they wish, without any regard or awareness of what that looks like on the other side of them. Although we all have done it, it does not make it ok. Let's think about this for a second.
How would you feel if I came to you when I had a bad day, already carrying baggage, that is MY baggage, having a certain predisposition towards you simply because I am out of sorts and then dumping it on you...automatically expecting you to cater to me emotionally as if that is owed to me...I would say there is one word for that - selfish, wouldn't you say? I know that in many cases life happens, but how is it ok to dump it on someone else and expect them to constantly tolerate it as if that is ok? Hmmm, nope...that is not only not ok, especially when it's someone who have been trying to be there for you and reaching out to you. Although we all have fallen short in this area it's important to call thing what they are and that is irresponsible, selfish and ungrateful.
If this happened to you, remember that nothings and no one is worth taking away your peace. That is from the enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy! We are control of our emotions and we choose every time whether to give someone the ability to trigger it in us. Do you really believe that someone can either make you happy, sad, angry or loving? The reason you are angry is because that anger is already in you...and the reason you are loving is because it is already in you. The question is, are you that easily manipulated that you give the key to someone to wind you up or down based on how THEY feel or what THEY say or the kind of day THEY had? The power lies with those who can take responsibility for their own emotions without blaming everyone else around them for making them feel one way or another.
One of the things that I am so thankful for is increased AWARENESS. Awareness of who I am and Whose I am. Awareness of where my emotions come from and the fact that on the bigger scale of eternal reality the tunnel vision of life just does not work. I am thankful that God opens our eyes and allows the scales to fall away so that we can see through the emotions and the baggage that people carry, recognising that it has nothing to do with us and knowing how not to take it on. All we can do sometimes is allow the people to come to that understanding at their own pace. We can pray for them and continue to love them. With time, they will realise that nothing is as it seems.
Do not sweat the small stuff, really. Fill your heart with LOVE that comes from God! When you are constantly angry and snappy you are only missing out on great opportunities of life and awesome relationships. You are the one who suffers. There is so much more to life than to hold grudges and pick on the little things. Embrace who you are and allow people to be who they are. Love more, forgive more...because you have been loved much and forgiven much! <3
I have tasted the goodness and the grace of God which allows me to see beyond, at least most of the time...
...and for that I am sooooo thankful...
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
~Colossians 3:12-14
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ReplyDeleteI concur with your insight.
ReplyDeleteAs we all develop relationships with one another, we should always consider the possibility that our friend may have had a worse day than we did. That the possibility does exist where your a friend would genuinely care, however would be unable to assist in that time to comfort you because they need comforting in that moment. More often than not, we really need to ask the other person how they are doing first before getting into our own issues, to avoid doing more harm than good.
The following is a poem I wrote many years ago on this same issue:
OTHERS
As my day had gone to ruin
And the clashing of my teeth did come soon
While passing a flora not yet bloomed
I went back to wonder the wait.
Come to me sent not rend
And get thee hence your retrogress
Chide me not your precious exposure
From this day still not over
A turn of tide still not co sure
Reach to me from bud to expedience my convalescence.
Now a seed I see no more
Under soil not grown more
You’ve taken up and left from mention.
Seeing now you left from tension.
Soil around began to crack.
Did my negativity move to kill
Am I guilty of great sin
Pressing on one not yet capable of bare and help?
Did I not think and ask your day first.
Thanks for sharing the poem, Naveen...and for the comment.
ReplyDeleteAs I am rereading this again, some thoughts come to mind. I realise that it all comes down to grace, no matter at which spectrum you are in the situation. Conflict can be a healthy things for people to discover the depths of who they are and who each other is, if done with acceptance of the fact that we are different and giving grace when someone commits the offence. Holding grudges and being too sensitive all the time is only an indication that there are personal hurts in the person't heart that have not been dealt with. It's a give and take: we need to be intentional about dealing with our hurts, exposing them to the Light and allowing God to heal them...and also be sensitive to the fact that everyone is in a different place in their walk in life. We have too many expectations from one another sometimes as well as holding people to those expectations as well as unrealistic standards...Balance, my friends, we need to have balance and discernment...
Indeed ^_^
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